spidey3 gimik with elbi peeps plus pao..

ooOpps..im sorry raynard..i covered yer face..^^

L to R (top): bullet, emann, paolo, raynard

bottom: sarah, sharina, norie, magnolia, moi 

this pic is inspired by math.. nosebleeeeed..

oh my gashh.. i read my past blogs.. and aww menn.. waaahh..

i laughed to death!! haha^^,) haha..it was terrible..it was so childish and aww menn..nakakahiya! I was so emotional and madrama! waaaaah! I cannot imagine i wrote those things..it was so hilarious! hahaha! ^_^

grabe talaga, it was not like me..i felt so different now from the lala who typed those entries! haha.. geee..

aww menn..

I MISSED THIS BLOG!!! More than two years of nonexistence! geee.. good thing this blog is still working.. I guess I have so much to work on in this blog.. haha :)

What I have been into the past years? Hmm.. many, many, many things.. And there are many lessons I reaped from the past years.. geee.. this is really amazing.. hehe! I read my past blogs and I felt stupid with my english now.. haha.. need to practice here again.. yeah!

updates muna..

im 19 yrs old, an incoming 4th year student. I'm expecting to graduate october 2008. (writing in this blog, I feel so ME!! haha) 'm learning to love my course (food tech) unlike the days when I used to blog here when I hated my course like hell. hihihi. I'm planning to take up masteral after graduation. My mom wants to settle abroad. ayoko. haha. ewan.

right now, I'm here in bicutan. it's 11:00pm in our clock.

...Many things changed I guess; others still the same...

I am a better person. For the past two years, I've been through a lot. And man, I cried countless nights. Define COUNTLESS. It was a roller coaster ride! But all those tears summed up into an epitome of life that I will remember forever.

Days when I thought I'll face death at the end of the road..but the road seems to grow longer and narrower - a time when agony is simply prolonged and the indispensible is delayed. Days when I almost gave up. Days when I went through desperate moments. Days when I could barely see hope.

I had my share of tears...as well as laughter.

I met many people along the road - people who knew how to really care and listen, REAL FRIENDS. God gave me bunch of freaks who loved me and my alter ego no matter how comforting or discomforting it may be. hehe. And I am thankful. Thankful for the time and life that they shared.

Two years full of joy and pain..It molded my character. All those tears and laughters turned out to be the milestone for bigger and much, much, much more painful years to come. haha. And yet another better lala. Who I am today is the product of those two years.

I am here again to recount the two years of my life - an important chapter that must be recollected and learned from. I am so excited to blog again! yipeeeeee! ^_^

PS: the "HE" story is still on.. yeah! I'm gonna work on that entry soon.. :)

“No, not until you are satisfied and content with
being love by me alone….
By giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me,
To have an intensively personal and unique
relationship with me alone,
Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction be
found,
Then you will be capable of the perfect human that I
have planned for you!

You will never be united with another until you are
united in me...
Exclusively of anyone or anything else, exclusive of
any other desires or longings,
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow
me to give you
The most trilling plan existing… one that you cannot
imagine.
I want to have the best
Please allow me to bring it to you,
Just expect the greatest things… keep listening and
learning the things I tell you
Just wait, that’s all.

Don’t be anxious, don’t worry.
Don’t look around at the things other have gotten or
that I’ve given them,
Don’t look at the things that you think you want.
Just keep looking off and away up to me, or you’ll
miss what I want to show you.
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean security.
You begin to learn that kisses aren’t mean contracts
And presents aren’t promises.
You begin to accept your defeats with your head
Held up and you’re eyes open … with the dignity of an
adult not a grief of a child
You then learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain,
For plans and future have always falling down in
midnight.
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if
you get too much,
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting someone to give you flowers.

Then you learn that you can really endure,
That you are really strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn,
With every goodbye you learned!

And when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you
With love far more wonderful than you would ever dream
of
You see until you are ready and until the one I
prepared for you is ready.
(I am working even this very moment to have both of
you ready at the same time)
Until you are both satisfied exclusively for the
married life that I have prepared for you.
You can’t experience the love that exemplifies your
relationship with me, and this is the perfect love!!!
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful
love… in my time.
I want you to see it in the flesh, a picture of your
relationship with me.
And enjoy materially and correctly the everlasting
union of
Beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with my
self.

Know that I love you utterly,
I am God Almighty.
Believe it and be satisfied.”

moodiness...

where did that come from??

hmmm...and why does people feel moody?

personally, i've been a big moody gaL who always tend to "erupt" at the wrong time. hehe! and most of my friends hate this alter ego of mine.
im always on-the-go, wherever & whenever. i always smile and laugh even at the most hilarious & corny joke ever. i am splendidly happy with all the things that i do. then "PUFF!" all of a sudden i don't talk. i sit in a corner, perpetuating this one question that i have always asked myself when this situation comes, "what the heck is happening??" and i have no idea what's happening. i just suddenly i shut up and isolate myself from the company of my friends. my friends, then, would be surprised and they'll all go, "huh? did we say something wrong?" iL go to the dorm balcony and sit there for hours pondering on nothing but that one question. during those "times," i thought to myself, "i find it stupid. they feel that im angry with them when all this time it has nothing to do with them. they're assuming such thing but there's really nothing! hellur? i can't understand them." ...then my mind rebuts, "hellur?? you can't understand them? ur much stupid." oh yeah...so there i was, sitting there all alone, debating with my stupid thoughts. and then i grow tired, causing a wreck in my neural system! what's next? i get irritated for no reason. and my whole day is completely ruined.

so what did i gain from being moody?

nothing really...

...even if i have a reason to be moody.

i mean, moodiness?? hello??
it won't cause us any good. (listen to the expert!)

right now, God and i is at work with my "moodiness."
God:  why do u feel moody?
Me: I just feel that way.
God: Oh really...
Me: umm..No.. there are a lot of reasons, God. reasons which seem to be out of my reach. i find a lot of things incomprehensible and sometimes stupid too. honestly, i easily get irritated, esp when people can't seem to understand my situation.
God: I see. i guess we have A LOT to work out, huh?
Me: i guess so
God: so, what do you feel after being moody?
Me: i feel so tired and so weak. i dont wanna talk to people. i want to be alone.
God: does it cause you any good?
Me: no.. i am absolutely discouraged, thinking that i wasted my time. stupid isn't it? aren't you wondering why am i stupid?
God: well, for your info, Lala, ur not stupid. you just say so.
Me: ...
God: Lala, snap out of it! ur not stupid! nothing in my creation was or is stupid! NOTHING.
Me: ...
God: if you think you're stupid, ur also thinking that ur Creator is stupid as well.
Me: God, i didn't say that! that's not what i mean!
God: well, that's what it means. i created you Lala in my image. you are a reflection of my greatness. how could you be stupid?
Me: ok God.. im sorry. im sorry to make you feel that way. i didn't thought about it that way. i thought it was just me. but...
God: it's ok. you don't have to feel guilty.
Me: i'm sorry God
God: it's all right! at least you realized it.
Me; yeah, you made me realize it.
God: so...back to our discussion...
Me: oh yeah...moodiness?
God: Yes.
Me: honestly, i wanna get rid of it God. but im having a hard time. can you help me pls?
God: of course! im most delighted!
Me: all right!
God: ok! first things first. make a list of the things that makes you feel moody.
(so i made a list. there were at least 26 reasons. whew!)
God: looks like you got a LONG list there!
Me: hehehe...
God: lala, look at each reason.
Me: im looking...
God: then look at the Bible. what does it say?
(suddenly, i felt as if someone crushed my heart)
God: the things in ur list are facts. but don't dwell on the facts. dwell on the TRUTH. and the truth is?
Me: ...that I am you workmanship...i am your creation...you took time to form me.
God: well, does that have something to do with that list?
Me: ummm...
God: well?
Me: um...yes...i actually don't have to feel moody or discouraged. in every reason in my list, there's a promise from You that never failed, a promise that You're always there by my side. so i have no reason to be moody.
God: and..
Me: and that you alone can fill that flaw. there's nothing i can do or say to mend it. the healing comes from you. and You're here with me always! You're always faithful. trials will come, one after another, but you never left my side. people don't understand, You do. they don't listen, You do. I can't figure things out, You do. being moody is a cause of too much stress and worrying.
God: and..
Me: and in the first place why do I worry? are You not my God?
(i felt my soul break. i was preaching to myself.)
God: yes I am you're God!
Me: so there's no place for worrying.
God: so that means ur worried?
(OUCH...)
God: how about stress?
Me: stress? people feel stressful coz they don't accept the REST that you offer them. people try to do more. they get tired simply because they over-"try" doing things by themselves instead of trusting You more.
God: great! so, are you stressed?
(OUCH!)
Me: umm...yeah...
God: so i think you now know what ur problem is?
Me: yes...all along, it was me.
God: you know what to do
Me: yes. thanks God! You're so good.
God: i love you that's why i don't wanna see you wearing a long face.
Me: yeah, im sorry Dad. sorry to make you feel bad.
God: it's okay. seeing you smile again is worth the pay.
Me: thanks GOD!!! im flattered & honored!! =) gudnyt!

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or
days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or
forgotten,
Will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to
irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were
owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and
jealousies
Will finally disappear.

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists
will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will
fade away.
It won't matter where you came from, or on what side
of the tracks
You lived, at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or
brilliant,
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days
be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you
built;
Not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your
significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you
taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, or sacrifice
That enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to
emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your
character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
But how many will feel a lasting loss when you're
gone.
What will matter is not your memories,
But the memories that live in those who love you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
By whom, and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.

It's not a matter of circumstance, but of CHOICE.
Choose to live a life that matters.